Where did that come from?

You know for several years now, I've been on a search to recover my heart. I'm 44 years old, and I've been born again for over 20 years, but it's just been in the last probably 4 years that I've really been able to access the various compartments of my heart and make sense (sometimes) of them.

To seek and save that which was lost, was the mission that Jesus undertook when He came to Earth. And what was lost was man's heart and the ability to have a deep and intimate relationship with the Father God. So even though I've been saved for all these years, my heart has been pretty beat up and I'm still uncovering areas that haven't been looked into in the deep recesses that only God and I know. And as John Eldredge said in his latest book Walking with God, sometimes God has to sneak up on us and bring us to those places in our heart.

One of those places showed up this morning. My first customer of the day was a refund. A shoe that was purchased 3 months ago, brought back for a refund. Now, my first inclination was to dismiss this customer entirely because he was bringing back the merchandise. I concluded the transaction, with my best "thank you" face, then went to put the shoes back in stock. It was at this point that I really got the most upset.

I found myself muttering and complaining about this guy. Talking to myself, and griping. About 10 steps towards the rack, I stopped and asked myself, "Whoa, where's this coming from?" I also asked the Lord where that was coming from. I mean why can I be super nice when someone is buying something, then not very nice if they bring it back? What's going on in my heart here Father?

This has been an area that I've struggled with for a long many years, probably as long as I've been selling shoes. Now that I think about it, I have been getting torqued about this since I can remember. What is going on here Lord? I heard Him say in my heart that this upsets me because I really don't trust Him like I should. I don't know maybe I feel as if someone returning merchandise for whatever reason is like a report card on how I'm doing. Okay, so where did that come from Father?

So as you can see, there is a lot of unpacking to do here and I'm sure that I'll not figure it all out in a day. It may take a week, month heck even a year or so, who knows? I just know that it is an area that needs attention, and with the Father at my side I will make it.

So I guess my prayer now is; "Thanks Lord for sneaking up on me, and exposing this part of my heart that is not fully holy like You would like it to be. Father me through this time, and help me to see any agreements that I've made that have hindered me in having a fully restored heart in this place. Make me holy, like You are holy in Jesus Name. Amen."

Hang with me folks, the ride is about to get bumpy....strength and honor.....

Children...or Learning Patience God's Way

Patience...it's a word that I'm becoming very familiar with lately. And it's not as if I woke one morning very spiritual and decided that I should start my journey with the Father about learing it either. No more realistically, it was that I have been thrust into this just by being alive and having three children living under my roof, all of whom have entered into that season of life known as the teenage years. (truth be told, my youngest is not quite 12, but is a teenager in every aspect except the actual number of years)

Now don't get me wrong, I love my children and would gladly give my life for each and every one of them. (please don't tell them that, they may take me up on it) It just seems that the more I try to teach them, the more that I realize where the poser is in me. You know the poser, that part of each of us that acts like we have it all together, when in actuality we are just hoping that no one finds out we don't, and exposes us. We all have one, and that is the part of us that we are told to die to daily.

I find that the more I correct my children in the every day aspects of life, the more correction that I need in myself. Maybe when discipling takes place, this is what parents mean when they tell their children, "This is going to hurt me a whole lot more than it will you." I know that as I'm instrucing my children in the ways that they should go, it seems that my Heavenly Father is instructing me as well.

This has brought one area of patience to my life...and that is to be more patient with my children. I have been thinking alot about how the Father corrects me, and how that makes me feel. You see when God corrects us, what He has in mind is our best interests. He wants the best for us, so when we are in an area that is in need of correction, whatever He does He is doing for our benefit.

What that has taught me, is to ask myself, "What is this going to do to my sons or daughter when I correct them?" Will the correction bring, understanding and peace, or will it bring judgement and division? God has never once corrected me and I felt like I was ever being judged for my actions. On the contrary, what I have always felt was that I was loved after it was over. Now, in all honesty I can't always say that my children would answer that way concerning me when I correct them.

I know that on more than one occasion I've been the judgemental jerk who used his tongue to lash them till they were beaten down. (something I'm not proud of, and have made ammends to each of my children for as well) What I have learned is that whenever I verbally attack my kids like that, it is almost as if I'm agreeing with the enemy about what he is telling them already. Now how is that for a Christian father? Aligning myself with the enemy of my children, all in the name of bringing them up into a better walk with Christ.

The enemy would like nothing better than for us to help him with his game. I have had to see that for what it's worth, repent of ever doing that to my children and break the agreements that I've made with the enemy over my children and then make new agreements with the Father about them. You make agreements with the Father by saying what His Word says about your kids. And we need to do that, where they can actually hear it....include them in our time of prayer as often as possible, and with teenagers it can get tough to find the time.

The one thing that I will say about having 3 teenagers in the house, is that I never lack for the opportunity to learn about patience. No matter what is going on, I always make time for my kids to tell me about their day and then speak positive things into their hearts. They have after all been entrusted to me by the Father, and that is a huge responsibility that I don't take lightly. Dads, love your kids and show them often....before you know it they will be leaving the house and you'll be wishing you had the opportunity to tell them more....strength and honor.....

Heaven Bound?

You know one day I was talking with some friends, and one of them said something along the lines of, "Won't it be great when we get to Heaven?" Then we all began to talk about what we knew of Heaven, and how it will definitely be a great place to hang out.

As I pondered the conversation later that week, I began to think about how over the years that whenever I would tell people about Jesus, and talk to them of the salvation that He offers, I would always relay the information about Heaven and Hell. It would usually go something like this, "Don't you want to go to Heaven instead of Hell? If you do, then all you have to do is pray this prayer and accept Jesus, then you will be Heaven bound." Then I would lead them in the sinner's prayer, and begin to rejoice that another lost soul was bound for Heaven.

I want to say right here and now, "I'm sorry that I've ever done that." I can almost hear you shouting, "What?!?" Let me explain what I mean...I'm sorry that I've ever cheapened the Gospel by leading people to believe that getting saved was for the sole benefit of going to Heaven...only.

You see, in Luke 19:10 "For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost." Jesus is saying that His purpose for coming to the Earth is to seek and save "that" which was lost. Well, we have to ask ourselves here, what was lost? Man's heart, and ability to have a relationship with the Father God. So then, the whole purpose for Jesus coming to Earth, was to bring us back into relationship with the Father.

When I think about how God, the maker of Heaven and Earth, wants to have a personal relationship with me, well I've got to tell you that that just about blows my mind. I could maybe understand that He knows who I am, and maybe has even kind of spent a few hours mapping out my life’s course, but that He wants to spend time with me every day? That takes some time to wrap your brain around.

I guess that in all reality, we really are Heaven bound if we've accepted Jesus offer (found in Romans 10:9-10), but what are we waiting for? I mean God the Father of all creation wants to have a relationship with us right now. I don’t know about you, but for me…I’m gonna get busy building my relationship with Him now, instead of waiting till I get to Heaven…..strength and honor……….

What's in my heart?

The sun is shining outside, but what is in my heart? Is it the sunshine, or clouds? Do I choose to be positive or negative today? After all, that is the one thing that God has given each of us isn't it, the power of choice?

As I open my shoe store today, what will my first customer be like? Will I be helpful to them, or will I choose to be self-absorbed to the point where I'm no help at all? The choice is mine. (It is actually 3 hours after I opened my store, and I chose to help my customers)

So while I could do like that Carrie Underwood song "Jesus Take the Wheel" says, "Jesus take the wheel..." and leave it all up to Him, that is not what I see written in the Bible. It says that I have the power of life and death in my tongue. I have the power of life and death, not Jesus has the power of life and death. So that tells me that I have a part to play in this day to day story that is my life.

Besides, if I let Jesus take the wheel so to speak, and things don't work out so well in my day, it sets me up to believe that God's heart towards me is possibly not good. But if I take ownership of how my day is going to be, then my walk with the Father God is good no matter what kind of day I have.

Just some thoughts....so strength and honor....

Grey Days in the Kingdom

As followers of Christ, we have an incredible Father who loves us very much. We have access to Him anytime that we need Him, and He has provided for everything we may ever have need of. He knows our beginning from our end, and only has good for us.

Okay, so if that's the case why is it that some times I feel that I'm living in grey days in His Kingdom? I pray, but the words seem to just fall back to earth. I read God's Word but it seems to leave as quickly as it enters into my thoughts. I speak words of love and affection to my Father, yet He seems elusive. What's that all about?

I think I found the answer, and in the most unlikely of places, The Lord of the Rings. In the great battle that took place on the Pelanor fields, before Sauron's troops could lay seige to the capitol city of Minas Tirith he had to take Osgiliath. And before that could be achieved, he had to cover the land with a haze to blot out the sun. After all, most of his evil minions couldn't move in the daylight. It was here that I found the truth of this greyness.

The enemy that we face, the devil, you remember that guy that goes about like a roaring lion seeking whom he can devour. Well his works are dark, and it seems to me that these grey days of the Kingdom might just be him at work trying to block out the "Son" Jesus. If he can keep the light of the glorious Gospel from shining, then his demons have room to manuever.

So then, we see the enemy at work, what are we to do? It is at this point we must make our stand. We have to cover ourselves in the blood of Jesus, dress ourselves in the armour of God and draw our sword and charge the fields like the Rohirram charged Pelanor fields. Don't wait for the enemy to come you, charge the fields take the battle to him and you will see the grey days of the Kingdom fade into the glorious light of our Lord and Saviour.

Strength and honor.....

Is it strange that I enjoy being alone?

It is now just about time for me to go home, pick up my oldest son and race off to Sand Springs to take him to Praise & Worship practice. It will be a couple of hours of waiting and reading a book. Truth be told, it is something that I actually look forward to, because it gives me an hour or so to just be by myself, something that happens less and less now that my three children are growing up. Don't get me wrong, having a family is an awesome thing, and something that I would never change, but I really do enjoy my time alone with my thoughts.

I just got the latest book by John Eldredge, "Walking with God" www.walkingwithgod.net and it is phenominal. It is really an awesome read, and I have decided after finishing it yesterday morning that I would start reading it again and working in the study guide. So tonight will find me with my book, study guide and journal and a cup of coffee....and we'll see where that takes me. I'm really enjoying my conversations with God, so tonight's alone time probably won't really be alone.

Movie Soundtracks....The Motion Of My Life

What music inspires you? For me, it's always been movie soundtracks. Not the kind of soundtracks that use contemporary music, but the actual movie scores. There is something about all those instruments blending together that just sets my creative juices flowing.

For the last few weeks, I've been praying a prayer that I got on CD from the Ransomed Heart Ministries. www.ransomedheart.com It's called the "Morning Prayer", and it really helps to center me in the knowledge of who I am in Christ, and what I can do in Christ for the day. I usually listen to it on my Oakley "Thumps" http://oakley.com/pd/4685/15319 while I'm on my way to work . Right after the Morning Prayer finishes playing on my Thumps there is a song from Pirates of the Caribbean ~ At World's End soundtrack called "Up is Down".

There is something about this song that makes me want to rise up and face the day with a renewed sense of vigor. The music playing makes me want to draw my sword and face down the enemies that would assail my heart. Those foul spirits that want to steal my joy and cause my potential in Christ to not be at it's fullest.

You know those spirits, those little foxes that do nothing but try and spoil the vine so to speak. The thoughts that come throughout the day saying, "What you're doing doesn't matter." "You'll never be able to accomplish what Jesus wants you to." "Why would anyone want to be your friend?" Those lies, that while they may seem true at the moment, in the Light of the Gospel we know are really just that....lies.

While there is probably nothing super spiritual in listening to soundtracks, they do tend to motivate me to a better place in Christ, and that I guess is not all that bad....so, if you don't own any soundtracks, may I suggest you go out and buy some and see what they stir up in you.

Remember, fight against the darkness, it's our destiny to work with Jesus to destroy the works of the enemy, and bring deliverance to the captive hearts....and in the words of a great leader Leonidas, "Strength and Honor"!