I Had A Meltdown This Morning

I arrived at work early this morning so that I could accomplish a few things before the crush of helping customers was upon me. As I checked my bank statement online, I was greeted with the lovely sight of overdraft charges. These always seem to brighten my day and I love how the banks act as if they can't help but make this free money for themselves off of the backs of their customers.

"Well I will have my paycheck today, so that will be handled in a little while. No need to get upset, just deal with it David." I thought. Then my phone rang. It was my landlord for the shoe store and she wanted to ask if I was having the air conditioner units at my store serviced regularly. I said, "No." Thinking that if the shopping center is owned by my landlord then surely it is their responsibility to take care of "their" air conditioners. Apparently not. It seems that in my lease I am responsible for the maintenance on their property. "I'll be sending you the bill for $170.00 for the service our air conditioner man did for your air conditioner." she informed me.

I hung up the phone, and what rose up from my inner most being was not the Word of God. It was a little bit more colorful, and if any women or children would have been around they would have been shocked. (Okay, I tell you this not to brag, I was being an idiot and I know that, I tell you in the hope that if you can identify with me, you'll get the help that I did.) I went on a tangent, spewing all manner of idiocy from my mouth, and you know as it started to come out, it just flowed and flowed and flowed. (All of this happened for about two minutes.)

As the torrent of words subsided, and a level of resignation came over me, due in part to being an idiot and letting my flesh get the best of me. I stopped for a moment and just sat there, numb. Then up out of my belly came the thought of 1 John 1:9 which says, that if we will confess our sin, God will forgive us of that sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I did that right away, asking God to forgive me of my sin of saying the wrong things and letting my flesh get the best of me. Thank God He forgives and still loves me despite all of the stupid things I've ever done.

As I became quiet, I heard these words rise up from my spirit man. It was God speaking to me and He said, "Be still and know that I am God." The cynical side of me started to speak up and contradict what He had said to me, but my spirit man resisted that part and I began to be still. While I was receiving pressure from all around me concerning finances this morning the Lord is at work on my behalf because I am a tither, and all I have to do now is be still and let Him work.

I reminded Him of His word in Malachi where He tells us to test Him and see if He won't open the windows of Heaven and pour out a blessing that we don't have room enough to contain it. Praise God, I am a tither, and despite what my checking account is trying to tell me, or my landlord surprises me with, there is a blessing poured out for me and my family, so much in fact that we cannot contain it all. I just have to trust God at His Word and be still and know that He is God, and is working on my family's behalf.

I've said it before, and it bears repeating here, the fight of faith is the fight to believe what God's Word says is true, even when all the evidence around you tells you otherwise. We're believers, that's what we do, we believe. So no matter what has happened to me today, I choose now as an act of my will to believe what God has promised me in His Word, regardless of how the things around me try and say otherwise. Thank You God for Your Word!