One of the truths
I’ve learned in my life is a man needs to do what makes him come alive as a man
more than anything else in this world.
I’m talking in regards to what he does with his life, and his place in
the world. I told my kids all of their
lives growing up in my house to not worry about just finding a job, but to find
what it is that makes them truly come alive and go do that.
I told them this
because once I figured this out; it seemed as if it was too late for me. I was in a job, raising a family and had
bills out the wazzoo. Little did I know
I know at the age of fifty-two, with my children out of the house and chasing
their own dreams, I’d still be working a job just to pay the bills? Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy my job (most
days) and the people I work with; it just feels as if my dream of being a paid
writer is further from me now than it has ever been.
I guess I’m feeling
this way because there is a pressure to provide for my family, leave some type
of inheritance for my kids and grandkids, and now realizing I spent too many
years existing instead of planning for the future. It’s a daunting task set before me to do what
I need to do, knowing I only have a limited amount of time to reach these
goals.
Listening to some
friends talk last night about retirement, and what they were planning to do,
got me to thinking about my own situation.
I mean my life is not bleak, I’m not living on the streets, I have a
little bit of money in savings, and I am healthy enough to go to work each
day. Yet there is not a day which goes
by where I don’t remember the passage of Scripture which says, “A good man
leaves an inheritance to his grandchildren.”
While I don’t have
any grandchildren yet, this persistent thought hounds me like a pack of dogs on
my heels. What is it I will leave my
grandchildren? A good name perhaps, but
will they be paying for my funeral, or will I?
Will I leave them a little walking around money, or just a few Star Wars
toys I enjoyed having in my office?
The truth is this
is why I am working towards my goal of being a writer and getting paid for
it. Yesterday as I thought about this,
it occurred to me one other thing I’ll have to do as a full time writer is pay
for health insurance on my own once again.
No, this doesn’t add any pressure for me. (Sarcasm laid on real thick
here) It seems the more I work towards
my goal, the more I seem to want to just drop it, and spend the remainder of my
time here on the planet working to just get by.
It seems as if this
would be so much easier to do. But then
there is this thing inside of me which whispers, “There is so much more for
you.”, and it drives me back to my keyboard to punch the buttons and put my
thoughts down onto the page. I will be a
paid writer, this is my dream, and I believe it will be the pathway towards
paying off my mortgage, bills and setting aside something for my
grandchildren. I will be called a good
man when it is all said and done.
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