Trend Setter, or Follower?

My bride, son and his soon to be bride went on a date night last night to the movies, followed by some frozen treats at a local custard store.  It was a great night and fun to see my son and his gal being who they are as people, and not just our kids.  We arrived a little after 9:00 pm and the place was packed. It definitely is a spot local teens go to spend time with their friends, and to be seen.

I'm a people watcher, and if you're not, I suggest you start, it can be very entertaining. As we were talking about everything from the movie we'd just seen to their upcoming wedding I couldn't help but notice how many of the young people were so much alike.  Everything from hairstyle to clothes to the jewelry they were wearing. It was as if they were all trying so hard to fit in. It's sad, but it almost makes me laugh, because it amazes me how much everyone wants to be unique, but then just follow all the same trends.

I graduated in 1982, and in my era of being a teenager the style then was big hair. Every girl you saw had big hair, and used probably an entire can of hairspray every day to get it to stay in place.  I mean, there were a few girls in my school who could have stood out in a hurricane and would have never had a hair out of place. It was the trend at the time, but I truthfully hope it never comes back into style.

What I think is hilarious, is the amount of time and effort put in by people of all ages just to fit in. Why can't we just be who we are, and stay individuals? What is it about people's need to fit in? Why do we have to all have the same things for this to happen? I don't have a problem with anyone doing things like getting tattoos, or piercings or wearing the latest "super cool" jewelry item. If that is what you want, then go an get it. What I don't understand is why people do it because other people are doing it.

There are many things I've done as a dad which I wish I could go back and change in my kid's lives, but one thing I would never change is how strongly I always pushed them to be themselves.  If I told them once, I'm sure I told them a thousand times, not to worry about what other people think about them, just be who God created them to be. Trying to "fit" into the world's mold is a horrible and exhausting way to live.

For instance, take my baby girl (pictured here) she has a style all of her own. Now granted the clothes she is wearing in this picture was for a costume she wore to a "Nerd Night" event at her youth group a few years ago. But what I love about the picture, well two things actually is the cool super hero shirt she is wearing (and wore after Nerd Night) and how her personality is captured so perfectly here.

Long before it was popular to do so, April would wear mismatched socks, and the crazier the better. Knee socks, anklets or no show, it didn't matter, they just had to be crazy looking. At our church she became known as the sock girl. So much so, when people from our church would see crazy socks, they would buy them for her because they thought she'd like them. When she moved to Carlsbad, NM to start her married life a few weeks ago, she probably had over 50 pair of socks she took with her.

I remember this one time we were fixing to head off to church, when she came out of her bedroom wearing some clothes which didn't actually go together. (And if I noticed they didn't go together, well that's pretty telling.) I said something to the effect of, "Are you going to wear that?"  To which she replied, "Dad, you've always told me not to care what people think, and I don't."  It was hard for me to argue with her logic, seeing as it had come from my mouth originally.

If I could change the world in any way, I think what I'd do is get people to be themselves more, and not so much what the world thinks they should be. Look at this passage of Scripture found in Romans 12:2. I like it in the New Living Translation best. "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

Let God transform you by changing the way you think. We should all think for ourselves, and not just follow the trends set down by the world.  We should actually set the trends, instead of just following them.  Ask yourself this question, "Am I wearing this, or doing this because it is something I really want to do, or am I doing it because everyone else is, and just to fit in?" If the answer is to just fit in, then maybe you should rethink a thing or two in your life possibly.  

And parents, I would strongly urge you to be encourage your kids to be unique and different in their lives. Giving them the permission to be who God wants and has designed them to be is more freeing than you may ever know. This is what will make them trendsetters and not just trend followers. Until we talk again, for the Kingdom and the King!