Hit Me, I'm Suffocating Here!

Today while mowing my lawn, I was listening to the soundtrack from the movie August Rush.  It's a great little story; one which was lambasted by the critics but every person I've ever talked to who has watched it enjoyed thoroughly. There is a scene in the movie which kept popping up in my head as I pushed my mower around and around the yard. Here's the clip:

"Hit me! I'm suffocating here!" This line kept passing through my brain as I mowed. It actually fits the way I've been feeling for some time now in my own life. Not so much as I'm looking to get punched in the face necessarily, but I have felt for a while now as if I were drowning. What's interesting in this clip to me, is Louis, the guy who says he's suffocating used to be in a band with his brother the guy who hits him. Without spoiling the movie for you I'll just say he gave up playing in the band and moved into the corporate sector of the music industry. Doing something to make a living instead of doing what actually makes him come alive. 

Have you ever been there? Doing what is required of you, or expected of you instead of doing the thing which actually makes you come alive. This is where I'm living right now, or more truthfully where I have been living for most of my adult life. It is is a place which will suck the life right out of you, and suffocating is a great word to describe it.

I have counseled people through the years to go out and do what they are passionate about. Finding their place in the Story God is telling and living from there. It has helped a great number of people I know to do this too. Problem is for me, it seems as if life has gotten in the way of doing what I love to do. What I mean by this, is in order for me to provide for my family, I work a job to make money so I can pay the bills. And at times it feels as if the bills will never stop growing. Understand me, this is not a pity party by any means, although I have had a few of them over the years. I have just placed myself at the mercy of debt, which has kept me from doing the thing I love to do, which is writing.

I would love nothing more than to actually write for a living. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the work I do, but it's work not what I love. Writing is what I love, I just haven't figured out how to make it pay yet. My dream would be to have the ability to create stories and get paid to write them. To find a following of people who actually enjoy my storytelling to the point they were willing to pay for them. I would absolutely love to work from an office, instead of spending 99% of my days out in the elements. (especially when it's raining, I hate working in the rain). The Beatles actually wrote a song about me many years ago, give it a listen.

My thought here today is to encourage you to think about and find the thing which makes you happy, and come alive and pursue it. I always told my kids to find the thing God has for them, the reason they were created and go do it with all their hearts. If they would do this, then the money and provision would come. Of course this is easier to do when you don't have house payments, car payments and such, which is why I encourage this in them. 

I know one day I will work from my home office writing and telling stories for the masses, which is one of the reasons I continue to blog. I may not get paid for blogging, but in some small way I feel a sense of accomplishment and hopefully in the process people who read what I've written are either entertained or helped along the way too.

Until next time, for the Kingdom and the King!