Two Years & Time Travel

Today it has been two years since the death of my youngest son Noah. I must say that it really doesn't seem like that much time has past, but it has. One of the strangest things about losing someone who is close to you, is how slow time seems to pass for you, yet it seems as if those around you are moving through time at a much higher rate of speed. It's kind of like that old movie The Time Machine, the original, not the remake. When the time traveler operates his machine, he sees everyone moving around at a high rate of speed even though he himself never moves. The television show The Big Bang Theory had a humorous tribute to that movie in their first season, here is the clip:

While that is funny, in real life this slow passage of time is not. Speaking for myself, there is a part of me that just wishes I was twenty years down the road from this horrible event. At least that way I might have less to deal with, yet I know that is an impossibility, and not the way that God does things. And how many times have I wished that He would do things the way that I would like, only later to find out that if that had happened, it would have had horrible consequences? I guess He really does know best.

You know if I actually had a time machine where I could go back and change the course of those day's events two years ago I would do it in a heartbeat. I miss my son, I hate that what happened to my family happened. But that is science fiction and not reality. Reality is that my son made a stupid mistake and ended his life, and there is nothing that I can do to change that. But I can make a decision as to what I will do now, and that is to live my life. So many times when tragedy happens in people's lives they give up. They stop living, and like the time traveler just sit motionless while the world around them continues to move on. I refuse to do that.

Life is definitely different now that Noah is no longer here, but I cannot sit around waiting for life to begin again. That's like telling a wood burning stove to heat you up and then you will put some wood and fire into it. You would think that a person who talked or acted like that was insane, and you'd probably be right, yet this is what people do every day. They talk about what is going to happen later on, yet never move past where they are right now. And I for one, don't want to be one of those guys.

My life and that of my family's is different now, but God isn't. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. And that is something that I can latch onto, and walk with having faith that Jesus wants the best for me and my family and was willing to go the distance even to His death on the cross to see to it that I have as He said in John 10:10; "Life and life to the full." I choose life, and I choose to live!