Does Time Heal All Wounds, & Should It?

It is an interesting thing that the passage of time will do to you. I was thinking of one of the riddles from J.R.R. Tolkien's book The Hobbit this morning. For those of you who haven't read the book, the first of two movies will be released next year, and there is a part of the story where Biblo and Gollum have a contest of riddles. Here it is:

This thing all things devours,

Birds, beasts, trees, flowers.

Gnaws iron, bites steel,

Grinds hard stones to meal,

Slays king, ruins town,

And beats high mountain down!

Of course, the answer is time.

But honestly, what does time do? Nothing really, other than give us an opportunity to mark the passage of it. It has been a year since my youngest son took his own life, and that passage of time has not helped to alleviate the pain and loss

that I feel. I miss his laugh, his deep voice and the way that he could make me laugh, even when he was getting in trouble for some mischief he was involved in. I miss his spirit more than anything, the way that he was so full of life and purpose, and time has not changed that one bit.

I don't think that time can ever fully erase the memories I have of my son, and even though painful, I don't want them to be erased either. Yes, I must admit that I tear up when I

remember something, or see something that reminds me of him, but that is not a bad thing at all. I am beginning to wonder if that truly is a wound meant to be healed. It seems as if it needs to be healed because of the stigma that goes along with suicide, but would we think it needed as much healing if he had died of natural causes, would we walk a different road of grief then?

The truth of the matter is that my son is with Jesus and I will see him again, and I guess that brings a level of comfort. But what about now? What about today? I truly didn't know what to expect at the one year anniversary of Noah's death, but it seems that time, while steadily moving forward, has not wiped away the pain, hurt and sadness. Crap! That's not good at all! I had hoped that the passage of time would do something more than it has.

Okay, so maybe not one of my best posts, and even a little raw as my emotions are in flux today, but that is how I am feeling, and I think if people have learned anything about me through my writings it is that I share who I am; the good, bad and the ugly...so get 'em up folks, let's go out and whip something for the Kingdom of God today!