Being In Love & What That Looks Like

You know I hear people say that they are "in love" so much these days, that I wonder if they actually know what they are saying. Do people really know what it means to be "in love"? Kids say it (younger and younger it seems) and get all starry eyed and think that this "love" thing is this feeling that will last forever. Yeah, well I hate to tell you, that's the lie. Now before you label me a heretic and want to take me out and stone me, I'm not saying that love doesn't last, because it does. What I'm saying is that mushy, touchy feely stuff doesn't last.

There is a little pea size gland in our brains that secretes a chemical that causes us to have that "in love"feeling. It usually lasts anywhere from six to eighteen months, then it shuts off and stops pushing that stuff into our bloodstream. This is why people will one day wake up and think, why'd I marry this person? They're weird and smell funny in the morning. I think that God uses this little gland to trick us into getting married, because if we really knew what all was going to be required of us in this thing called marriage, we'd probably not get involved with it.

There is a scene in the movie Shall We Dance where the wife has hired a private detective to follow her husband and she decides she is going to call it quits with the investigation and the two are discussing what love is, it is a very powerful scene, here is what she tells the detective about what she thinks marriage is:

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness'."

That line gets me every time, because of the truth of it. I am a witness to the life that my bride and I share. And every little detail of our lives do not go unnoticed because we are there to be the witness to each other's lives. We are the ones who tell each other that we matter, that our place here on this Earth is important if for no other reason than for each other. That is what love is, being there for your spouse through the good times and the bad times.

The Bible talks about love as a "doing something for others" thing. Love is not this feeling that you have for one another, that's part of it sure, but love is giving your life for your spouse. Love is doing those things that maybe you don't really want to do, but you do them anyway. And not so that you can get something, you do them because you love. Love is an action word, not a feeling. God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. (John 3:16) He gave to us so that we might learn and give to others.

I think it's cute when a young couple is in love and they are feeling all those heightened emotions and the hormones are raging. I, too remember those times and still have them from time to time, but the better part of love, that is the times when I do things for my bride because I know that it will bless her in some way. Not so I can get something from her, I just want to do things for her because that is how my love is expressed.

I think if we would all take that to heart and love because we love, not so that we can get something, we would go a lot further in our relationships and then actually begin to love the way that God wants us to, sacrificially. Get 'em up folks, let's go out and whip something today for the Kingdom!