Life is a
very interesting and fickle thing. One day
you’re on top of the world, and the next you can feel as if you are on the very
bottom of it, and for no reason at all.
Jesus said
in John 10:10 says the thief comes only to kill, steal and destroy. Did Jesus mean this in actuality? Did He mean physically the devil would steal,
kill and destroy? I believe the answer
to this is yes, but also so much more than that.
Do you have
dreams, aspirations or things you feel strongly about doing? I know I do.
I have felt for years now I was destined for some great thing the Lord
wanted me to do. I have dreamed about
helping other people come to the knowledge of God’s Word and fulfill the
purpose for what God created them for.
John Eldredge’s
work through his many books helped to birth this desire inside of me. It is something which is a passion of mine now,
to help men become who God wants them to be.
Yet at times I feel this dream of mine seemingly gets further and
further away.
It’s like
being at the beach, you decide to get in and swim in the warm salty water. So you begin paddling and enjoying it, when
you look up and see you have now been swept down the beach by the current. You began in the water with your family on
the beach in front of you, and after several minutes you are now a quarter of a
mile away from them.
This is what
it feels like for me right now. I have
always tried my best to give an accurate description of where I am in life, and
what is going on with me. And it has
always been easier to do so in writing.
I’m sure there are times when it may come across as whining, but I
assure you this is not what I want to do.
Writing this out is actually a form of therapy for me, and in the course
of helping myself, if what I’ve written can help others too, then I feel in a
little way I’m actually doing what I am designed to do.
The thief
comes to steal, kill and destroy. I feel
as if my dream of helping others has been, or is in the process of being stolen
from me. It seems the harder I try to do
what God has designed me to do, the further away from it I get. This is one of the reasons I have been
getting out of bed thirty minutes earlier each day just so I can do some more
writing.
What about
you? What are your dreams? And are you living your dream, or has it been
stolen from you as well? You know it’s
an interesting fact about the word thief in John 10:10, it actually means a “pilferer”. Now in case you didn’t know what a pilferer
is, it is a thief which steals a little bit here and a little bit there. He doesn’t steal it all at once; he just
takes a little at a time. He does this
because it is harder to notice.
If our enemy
was to come in and steal everything all at once, we would stand up and resist
him. But if he can take a little here
and a little there, we end up in a place where we didn’t even realize we were
being stolen from until our dream is almost gone.
This is
where I find myself today. I’ve allowed
the enemy to steal from me by looking at what others are doing and have done in
their lives. Instead of rejoicing with
others, a lot of times I’ve stood back and said, why them and not me. Oh, I’ve not said it out loud, or to anyone. But it’s been there in the back of my mind,
lurking around stealing from me.
So what do I
do now? How do I go about getting this
fixed? A thief once caught in the act,
won’t be able to steal any more right?
Not unless I continue to let him waltz in and do so. It seems to me then the answer is to resist
the enemy and not let him steal anything further, which I will do starting today.
I’m a little
embarrassed about admitting this, but sometimes I have to be open and
transparent like this to get to where I need to go to fix whatever is going on with
me. I have been jealous of others and
their successes in life, instead of being happy for them. I believe now this may in part be why I’m not
where I desire to be today.
Jealousy is
a big old green eyed monster which if allowed will consume you to the point of
being irrelevant, which is where I’m afraid I’ve been heading. The saddest thing about this is I believed I
was going in the right direction the whole time. Starting today, I’m going to do everything in
my power to work at getting this green eyed monster off of my back, and get
back to doing what I know to do.
If you are a
praying person, I’d appreciate your prayers of support as I begin this journey
of getting back to where I can be relevant and living the dream which God
placed in my heart so many years ago.
And as always thanks for letting me get things off of my chest.
Strength and
honor for the Kingdom and the King!