Saturday, August 11, 2012

Father Knows Best

I like Facebook.  There I've said it, I've admitted it for all to see.  I enjoy the social networking it provides, and I have re-connected with many, many people I had lost touch with over the years.  Plus it is a good way to know what my children are up to, and where they are.  And that is what brings me to my thought today.  As I was perusing Facebook this morning, I happened upon a picture posted by a young lady who I have known since she was born, and what I saw actually shocked me a bit.

Lately I have noticed something which causes me concern, and it's the amount of skin which young ladies (seemingly younger and younger each day too) show in pictures of themselves.  It's as if they are trying to get their fifteen minutes of fame or something, and believe that in order for that to happen they need to flash a little skin.  Now I will admit that I am an old fashioned kind of man, who thinks that a woman's body should only be seen by her husband, and not the entire world.  We used to have a name for girls who did that when I was in school, and it wasn't a nice one.

As the father of a beautiful daughter, I am constantly aware of the way in which she handles herself around others, and the way that she dresses too.  I am a blessed man because she chooses to not dress provocatively, and really is a very modest young lady when it comes to the clothes she chooses.  But many, many girls are not this way and I often wonder why.

A while back I had the opportunity to meet a great young couple named Matt and Alyssa Shull, who wanted to interview my son Micah for their television show Skunks TV.  Afterwards we became friends on Facebook, and every so often I would read something that one or both of them would post there.  Alyssa wrote an article called "Cleavage, Bikinis & Facebook", which is something I believe that every young woman should read.  Alyssa really hits the nail on the head with this one.  Take a minute and read it please.

I have spent the better portion of the last ten years finding out what it means to be a true and authentic Godly man.  One of the things that I have learned, is that men are very visual when it comes to their sexuality.  In other words, seeing the naked or nearly naked body of a woman causes a man's physicality to react in the way that God intended it to.  This is not wrong, it is the way men were created, which is not an excuse for men to be pigs, we are after all not animals and have the ability to control ourselves...if we will.

What I have learned from my own experiences is that I have to work a lot harder to control myself when women dress in a way that reveals more of them, rather than less.  And please understand me, I am not saying that women should wear a burka or completely cover themselves in the presence of men.  I do wish however that as a society we didn't place such an emphasis on showing skin as a way of feeling better about ourselves.

As I said before, I really think that the only man who should see a woman's body is her husband.  I love the way that my bride looks, and am very thankful that I am the only man who gets to see her body without clothing.  That is the way that God intended it to be, and that is the way that it should be.  I'm reminded of the old phrase, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"  Of course again, I'm not calling you ladies cows, I'm just saying stop giving men's eyes something to look at, and if you are not yet married, save that for your husband.  He will be glad you did, and so will you.

Pop psychology states that most girls reveal a lot of skin because they are looking for love from their fathers. I know this is not always the case, but it does have some truth to it.  Maybe your dad didn't show you the love that he should have.  Maybe he was abusive, or just not there for you.  Let me step in for just a moment and tell you as a dad:
"One day your prince will come.  He will be the man that will treat you like the princess you truly are, and you should wait for him, no matter how long it takes.  Don't buy into society's ideas of what a girl should do to get attention.  While you wait for him, prepare yourself to be the helper that he will need you to be, get close to God and stay there.  Remember, you are a beauty which God created, a masterpiece who is unlike anyone else ever created, and so worth the wait.  And your daddy loves you!"